The Fair Bears (transcript)
Script * episode begins at Dimmsdale Elementary School. The school day has ended and two school buses are parked outside. The school students run outside and cheer. * Timmy: 'School's out! ''does a flip. ''The nightmare's over! * '''Student: '''I'm never going back! ''runs off into the forest. ''Tell my story! * 'Chloe: 'Boy, this was a hectic day. I taught the kindergarteners Mandarin-Chinese, and created an experimental cure for male pattern baldness. * '''Timmy: '''You think you accomplished a lot? ''pulls out his smartphone. I found a new app that shows me what I look like with a beard. Check it! phone shows a loading screen. Then, it shows a picture of Timmy. The digital Timmy suddenly grows a grey beard. ''Ladies, get in line! * [Cosmo and Wanda appear next to Timmy and Chloe. They are disguised as green and pink birds, respectively.]'' * 'Cosmo: '''Hey, Timmy and Chloe! ''is holding a smartphone. A picture of Wanda is displayed on the screen. ''Check out this new app. ''digital Wanda grows a brown beard. This is what Wanda looks like with a beard! * 'Wanda: '''Gentlemen, get in line! * '''Chloe: '''Oh, I know the ''perfect way to relax after a day of super-achieving. You guys are gonna love it! Cosmo and Wanda, poof us to my house. * 'Denzel Crocker: '''Chloe! Thanks to your experimental baldness cure, ''shows his newly grown blonde hair. ''I have hair! ''sticks his also newly grown green webbed foot outside the window. ''And oddly, webbed feet. But I'm okay with that! * ''and Wanda wave their wands and poof themselves, Timmy, and Chloe to the latter's bedroom. The gang arrive in the bedroom. Cosmo and Wanda have changed back into their normal forms. Chloe opens her bedroom door with her foot, and brings in a plate of "cookies". * 'Chloe: '''Let's start the fun with some healthy snacks! ''places the "cookies" onto a stool. '' * ''takes a bite out of one. He immediately spits the it out. * '''Timmy:'' Something terrible's happening in my mouth, this is not a cookie! * '''Chloe: '''It's better! It's a Tofookie. A cookie-like disk made with tofu and something called Cricket Protein. * '''Timmy: '''Why!? * '''Chloe: '''Now lets bump up the fun! We're gonna watch the greatest television show ever made... The Fair Bears! * '''Timmy:' That show is the worst. I thought it was cancelled. Why wasn't it cancelled? * Chloe: '''It was! ''is holding a box set of "The Fair Bears". ''But I have all 26 seasons on DVD! ''face turns red. '''NEVER TOUCH THEM! '' * face turn's back to normal. Chloe giggles, as she walks over to her DVD player. She inserts a DVD into it. The TV turns on and the show starts. * - "[[The Fair Bears Theme Song]"] * [[The Fair Bears (characters)|'The Fair Bears']]' (on TV): '♪ Welcome to a world that's always fair. Get lots of wuv from friendly bears who care. Be happy, be fair. Be truthful, and share! We're the Fair Bears, and we're fair! ♪ * Timmy: 'Stop telling me what to do, Fair Bears! * '''Fair Bear (on TV): ' ♪ So if you're stressed or feeling blue, come play with us the whole day through. We're ready for fun. So how 'bout you? ♪ * 'The Fair Bears (on TV): '♪ We're the Fair Bears, and we're fair! ♪ * song ends. * 'Chloe: '''Ooh, I love watching the Fair Bears! ''shakes Cosmo. ''This is how I relax! * '''Wanda: '''I don't want to hurt Chloe's feelings, but those Fair Bears make me wanna cough up my Tofookie. Know what I mean, sport? Sport? * ''has been replaced by a pillow. The real Timmy is trying to leave Chloe's room. '' * '''Wanda: '''Oh, I don't think so! ''waves her wand and poofs Timmy back to Chloe's couch. * 'Timmy: '''Busted. * ''and Cosmo watch the "Fair Bears" with delight. Timmy is sulking. * 'Fair Bear (on TV): '''I'm Fair Bear, and I never cheat. * '''Chloe: '''Me neither, cus it's wrong. * '''Better Bear (on TV): '''I'm Better Bear, and I believe that no matter how good you are, you can always be better! * '''Chloe (whispering): '''That's what I tell everybody! * '''Timmy: '''What's with you!? * '''Happy Ray: '''And I'm Happy Ray! Be happy! ''Ray's tone of voice changes from happy to gruff ''And that's an order. * '''Chloe: '''Sir, yes, sir. * '''Cosmo: '''I love the Fair Bears, but I'm not gonna lie guys, Happy Ray scares me a little. Guys? * ''and Wanda have been replaced with two cushions. The real Timmy and Wanda are trying to escape the room. * 'Wanda: '''Busted. * ''waves his wand and poofs Timmy and Wanda back to Chloe's couch. * '''Chloe:'' Oooh, I love the Fair Bears so much! I wish they were real. Ooh, oh oh. I have fairies! They can be real! I wish the Fair Bears were real! * ''waves his wand, ready to grant Chloe's wish. * Timmy and Wanda: 'No! * ''cloud of yellow smoke appears that reads "Real!". The Fair Bears appear in Chloe's bedroom. The Fair Bears are looking confused. Chloe gasps with delight, jumps up into the air, squeals, and claps her hands together. * '''Fair Bear: '''Look, bear buddies. We're in a super fun new world! * '''Chloe: ''hugs Fair Bear. I'm Chloe, and I brought you here because I love you. I love you so, much! * '''Cosmo: '''I'm Cosmo! ''pulls out his phone. ''Wanna see Wanda with a beard? ''blushes. ''Sorry, I get flustered around celebrities. * '''Timmy: 'scowls ''I'm Timmy and I'm leaving. * '''Happy Ray: '''Wait. What's that expression on your face? It's like a smile, but it's upside down. * '''Chloe: '''Can you sign my DVDs? Here's my glitter pen. Use it! * ''Bear and Better Bear are grabbing Timmy's cheeks. * The Fair Bears: 'We all love you! And we want to be your bear buddies! * '''Timmy: '''Oh, you want to be my buddies? Quit touching my face! Right, Wanda? * ''has been replaced by a cushion. * 'Timmy: '''Get back here, woman! * ''is trying to sneak out of the room. She groans as she is called back. * 'Chloe: '''Um... time for some Fair Bear fun! Let's play the Fair Bear Board Game! * ''Fair Bears cheer * 'Fair Bear: '''Huzzah! * ''to everybody playing the board game. * 'Wanda (whispering): '''I'm already bored. * '''Timmy (whspering): '''Don't worry, I have a genius plan * '''Chloe: '''Hey Timmy, you can go first. Roll the Nice Dice! ''rolls the dice and rolls two * 'Timmy: '''I roll two. One... ''moves his token to the end of the board ''Two! I win, game over. Genius! We're out of here, Wanda. * '''Fair Bear: '''What was that, you just did? * '''Cosmo: '''It's called cheating! Timmy's an expert. * '''Fair Bear: '''But, it's not f- f- it's not fair! * '''Happy Ray: '''I have a funny feeling inside and it's not h-h-h-h-h-happy! * '''Wanda: '''Did you eat a Tofookie? Cus those things will turn on ya. * '''Better Bear (whispering): '''I'm very uncomfortable. Someone make it better! * '''Chloe: '''Okay! Let's all just take a bear-y big breath, and sing the song that helps us say bye-bye to bad feelings! * '''Chloe, Cosmo, and The Fair Bears: '''The Forgiveness Song! * ''"[[The Forgiveness Song]"] * piano tune begins to play in the background. Timmy scowls and walks off. Chloe, Cosmo, and The Fair Bears jump in front of, and around Timmy. * 'Chloe, Cosmo, and The Fair Bears: ♪ '''You gotta forgive and forget. You can't live with regret. Whether you're ''bear buddies or you just met! You gotta forgive and forget! ♪ * '''Timmy: '''Stop it! * '''Chloe: '''Timmy... this may sound kinda harsh but you're being a little bit of a bummer bear. * '''Timmy: '''Why does everything you say now have to have the word bear in it!? * '''Fair Bear: Wow, someone's a cranky bear. * Better Bear: 'I know what makes cranky bears feel better. Nap time! * '''Timmy: '''Right. Like I'm gonna take a nap. I'm almost a tween! * ''bears begin to hypnotize the gang. * 'The Fair Bears: ♪ '''Put your sleepy head, on your sleepy bed, and close your eyes and sleep... '♪ * drifts off into a deep sleep. Timmy eventually opens his eyes. He is now in Happy Holllow, the Fair Bears' home. * Timmy: 'Where are we? This place looks like a unicorn ate a rainbow and threw it up! * '''Wanda: '''Or maybe it ate a Tofookie. * ''Fair Bears' shadows loom over Timmy and Wanda. * 'Fair Bear: '''We're in Happy Hollow, where cranky bears come to wear the happy hat! * '''Timmy: '''Listen up, bonker bears. There's absolutely no way Wanda and I, are putting on these! * '''Happy Ray: '''Do it! * ''and Wanda put on the happy hats. They both get an electric shock. Timmy and Wanda's pupils roll like a slot machine and land on a heart. Wanda drops her wand, as the screen fades to black. Transition to the Carmichael Residence. Chloe and Cosmo are sleeping in Chloe's room. Timmy, Wanda, and The Fair Bears are holding hands and walking in a circle. * '''Chloe: '''Am I dreaming, or are you guys actually getting along? * '''Timmy: '''We're bear-y, bear-y good buddies now! * '''Wanda: ''hugs Better Bear.' 'I wuv everyone! * '''Timmy:' We wore the happy hats! With wires, and blinking lights. hugs Happy Ray. I smelled smoke! * Chloe: 'Wait, I've seen every Fair Bears episode like a bazillion times, and I have never seen a happy hat. * '''Wanda: '''Who wants a hug? * '''Timmy: '''I do! ''hugs Wanda. I wuv hugs! The nice bears changed my brain! * Wanda, and the Fair Bears all hug each other. Fair Bear and Better Bear are hugging Chloe. * 'Chloe: '''I'm not sure I'm wuving this. You brainwashed my friends! I can't believe I'm saying this, but... put Timmy's brain back the way it was. * '''Better Bear: '''We just made him a better bear! * ''hugs Cosmo. * '''Cosmo: Boundaries, Timmy. You're creeping me out. * Chloe: This is not cool! Turn my friends back to the way they were! * Fair Bear: 'Hey, Chloe. Your smile turned upside down. Maybe you should wear the happy hat too! * '''Chloe: '''Gah! ''Cosmo by the shirt. ''The Fair Bears are bonkers, Cosmo! Poof them away! * ''pulls out his wand, but the top of the star has a chunk missing. * 'Cosmo: '''Sorry. I ate my wand in my sleep. I thought it was a Tofookie! * '''The Fair Bears: '''Get 'em! ''Fair Bears try to leap onto Cosmo and Chloe to catch them, but they miss. * 'Chloe: '''Run! * '''Cosmo: '''Don't worry! I hid a super secret spare wand in Timmy's room. ''points to a large sign reading "Secret Spare Wand". ''It should be easy to find because there are signs all over town pointing to where it is. * ''and Cosmo take Timmy and Wanda and run away. * 'Happy Ray: '''Hunt them down! * ''Ray bashes his magical flower on the floor. The Fair Bears are now on trikes. Transition to Chloe and Cosmo, who are running to [[The Turner's House], with Timmy and Wanda in their hands. There is a sign next to the house that reads "Spare Wand In Here!".] * 'Timmy: '''I wuv you! * ''Fair Bears are on their trikes. They are pavement next to Chloe's house. * 'Fair Bear: '''Hey! * '''Fair Bear and Happy Ray: '''Let's sing The Safety Song! * ''"[[The Safety Song]"] * 'The Fair Bears: ♪ '''When you cross the street, always look both ways. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da, zinga-ba-ba-do-do-za-za-da. Zinga-ba- * ''Fair Bears' song suddenly stops. We see a comic-like bubble that reads "WHAM!". The Fair Bears and their trikes are now as flat as pancakes. Transition to Crocker and his [[Dolores-Day Crocker|mother] in their car.] * 'Crocker: '''Mother! I told you not to drive right after your eye exam! You wanna go to prison again? Is that what you want!? * '''Dolores: '''Denzel? Is that you? * ''hear a beeping from Crocker's Fairy Finder./ * 'Crocker: '''My Fairy-Finder's on a frenzy! I'm gonna bang me some fairies! You get the car to the chop shop, before the po-po's take you to the pokey! * ''jumps out of the car, and lands in a bush. '' * ''to Timmy's Bedroom. Wand signs are everywhere. Chloe and Cosmo open the door and are dragging Timmy and Wanda. They throw them into the room. * 'Timmy and Wanda: ♪ '''Welcome to a world, that's always fair! Get wots of wuv, from friendly bears who care! '♪ ''and Wanda hug each other, and then they hug Chloe and Cosmo.'' * Chloe: 'I never thought I'd say this, but that song is driving me coo-coo! * '''Cosmo: '''Relax. All I have to do is follow these signs to the spare wand! * ''is hugging a pillow and humming The Fair Bears Theme Song. Cosmo flies past Wanda. Timmy is hugging a fan. Cosmo flies past Timmy. The signs point to an empty space. Cosmo notices the wand in his sock. * 'Cosmo: '''Hey! Ha, what do ya know. It was in my sock the whole time! Never would of found it without the signs! * ''Ray kicks the door down, squashing Cosmo, causing him to drop the wand. The Fair Bears walk into the room, and they're all beaten up. All of the bears are looking at Chloe with anger. * 'Fair Bear: '''You've been a bear-y bad bear, Chloe. * '''Chloe: '''You call yourselves the Fair Bears, but there's nothing fair about forcing people to be like you. ''You're the ones that have been bear-y bad bears! Bad! Bad bears! * 'Happy Ray: '''You know, I've had just about enough sass from you, miss thing! * ''Fair Bears walk towards Chloe, but before they can harm her, Cosmo kicks them. An explosion shaped bubble that reads "POW!" appears. * 'Cosmo: '''Cosmo saves the day! * ''kicks down the door, squashing Cosmo and Wanda. He walks in with a vacuum. * 'Crocker: '''My Fairy-Finder found fairies! Fork 'em over, folks! * '''Chloe: '''Fairies? Here? No! Wait... Yes! Yes, there are fairies! And they're right there! ''points to The Fair Bears. * '''The Fair Bears: '''Wait... What? * '''Timmy: ''hugs Happy Ray's head. They're not fairies. They're Fair Bears! And I wuv them! * ''skips over to Crocker. He begins to hug his leg. * Crocker: 'Oh, lets see. Who should I believe? The boy who always lies, or the girl who always tells the truth? Tough call. Fairies in the hole! * ''sucks the Fair Bears with his vacuum. '' * '''The Fair Bears: '''No... fair!.. Fair Bears use their claws to grip onto the floorboards, but they still get sucked in. ''Crocker shoves the vacuum outside the door.' * '''Crocker:'' If the po-po's ask, I was never here. ''slams the door shut. Cosmo and Wanda's faces are on the door. They fall off, and get back up. * 'Chloe: '''I wish Wanda and Timmy were back to normal. Hurry, before Timmy hugs me again! * ''[Cosmo waves his wand. A cloud of smoke appears that says "BACK TO NORMAL POOF!" . Wanda and Timmy's pupils poof back to normal. Timmy is still hugging Chloe, ''unawaringly. Once he notices his actions, he immediately lets go.]'' * 'TImmy: '''Eww. Girl cooties! ''rubs himself. * 'Wanda: '''What happened to the Fair Bears? Nothing good I hope. * '''Chloe: '''Oh, don't worry. I can pretty much guarantee that. * ''to Crocker outside of his house. He releases the Fair Bears from the vacuum. * 'Crocker: '''At last! My life-long dream of having fairies has come true! For my first wish, ooh, so excited! I want you to a- * '''Dolores: '''Denzel! Is that you? * ''Fair Bears, and Crocker shriek. Dolores runs them over. A bubble that reads "WHAM!" is shown on the screen. * 'Crocker: '''Ahh!!! Why, mother!? * ''Fair Bears land on a nearby hill. * 'Fair Bear: '''That wasn't... bear-y fair. * '''Better Bear: '''I could be better. * '''Happy Ray (gruff voice): '''Let's sing The Revenge Song! * ''episode ends and the end title card appears. Category:Season 10 Category:Episode transcripts